Here Honey, Here’s Something White

I have one bottle of perfume. It’s White Linen by Estee Lauder. It’s the only perfume I wear and it’s the only perfume I have worn for about 10 years. There are others I like, but White Linen smells soapy clean to me and that’s what I like. Last year, as Mother’s Day approached, I told Antique Daddy that I was about out of White Linen and that I would like another bottle if he were so inclined to buy me something.

As expected, he mysteriously disappeared 24 hours before Mother’s Day. The next day I was presented with a gallon of White Shoulders. This was not surprising as this is the man who in a speech to tech-execs compared the challenge of keeping up with changing technology to Lucy and Ethel Merman in the chocolate factory. Um, close, but not really. So in a preemptive move, I’ve been teaching Sean to say “White Linen.”

As expected, this morning as I was returning from a quick trip to the grocery store, I met Antique Daddy and Sean in the garage as they were getting into the car. Sean yells at me, “Bye Bye Mommy! We’re going to buy you something!” Antique Daddy rolls his eyes and stage whispers to Sean, “Dude! It was supposed to be a secret!” As if I needed a two-year-old to tip me off. Hopefully Sean will rat me out at the mall and say “White Linen” as Antique Daddy is reaching for white chocolate.

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