We were visiting a church on Sunday and I took Sean to find his Bible class. The teacher was a fresh-faced pious 20-something with one of those soprano sing-songy teacher voices that would make you want to gouge your ears out with a sharp #2 pencil after about ten minutes. Before I left, she asked me if it were okay if Sean had some Goldfish while he was there. I said Goldfish were okay, but no cigarettes.
And she just looked at me as though I had audibly passed gas.
I guess I missed this one: #11) Thou shalt not have a sense of humor.