Beware of Wivian’s Mojo

We arrived back in Dallas Sunday evening from a week-long visit with my parents. The flights were what I always hope for – uneventful, no tipping over. Everyone enjoyed a good nights sleep, each in their own beds. The next day was to be one of reckoning, as I knew it would be.

Those of you who have small children can probably attest to what happens to them after being in the company of their grandparents for an extended period of time. The grandparents, anxious to get back at their own children for depriving them of sleep and disposable income for twenty years, feed the child buckets of ice cream and boxes of cookies and anything else the child wants. They coax the child into some sort of sugar-induced trance and then act as a sherpa leading them to places far beyond the parental established boundaries. And that’s when they put the mojo on the kid.

After the mojo is firmly affixed to the kid, the grandparents say sly things to the unsuspecting parents like, “Why don’t you two go out for a nice quiet dinner? We’ll keep Sean (and convince him that the word no doesn’t really apply to him, it’s really just a suggestion!) Take your time (while we help him see you as two crazy people intent on ruining his life). He won’t even know you’re gone (because we’ll be letting him do whatever he wants!)

The rude awaking came early. At the light of dawn on Monday morning Sean stood in his crib, rattling the rails like an agitated ape and screaming “Mahhhhhmmeeee!” Without fully awakening, I managed to get him out of bed, change his diaper and carry him into the kitchen and set him on the island so that I might pour him some milk. But apparently at Grandma’s house, Sean is allowed to climb up into the refrigerator and get the milk himself. So as I reached into the refrigerator to get the milk, he started screaming “I DO IT I DO IT!!! I wanna do it!”

My first mistake which I will chalk up to not having had any coffee yet was to try to reason with him: a) I always get the milk out, b) it’s on a shelf you cannot reach, c) it’s my house and my fridge d) because I SAID SO. Toddlers coming off a week at Grandma’s are not reasonable people. Reasoning only caused him to scream louder and louder until the hunting dogs that live two doors down started barking, perhaps sensing an injured animal or an exhausted 46-year-old woman with an unreasonable toddler – either way, both dead meat.

He would not be consoled until he got the milk out of the refrigerator himself and I was not going to be bullied by a two year old at 6:30 in the morning. We were at a standoff.

Finally he collapsed into a heap and cried “I want to go back to Wivian’s!” Being the mature, responsible adult that I am, I snapped, “I want you to send you back to Wivian’s, so there!”

It’s going to be a reeeeeally long week of undoing all of Wivian’s doing. Or it may just be my undoing. Stand by.

17 thoughts on “Beware of Wivian’s Mojo

  1. Aaaaaaack! Coke in a sippy cup?

    Thanks for the anniversary wishes. I did get to talk to Hubba Hubby on the cell from camp. They are having a good time and he hasn’t strangled Youngest yet.


  2. I love the “Things to do with Sean’s Children” idea. My folks are really good about maintaining our rules with the girls, so this has only been a minor problem. And being with exciting grandparents makes them miss boring old mom a little, so I get extra hugs when it’s over to make up for the extra whining.


  3. I lived in the same town with BOTH sets of grandparents. . .it was Grama-itis/detox/mojo on a daily basis. . .and it was glorious. Of course, it was much like having two teachers at school at the same time. . .since it was daily, you learned which rules applied at home, and which rules applied at Granny’s house.

    He WILL get back to normal, and YOU can start a notebook of “Things to do with Sean’s Children.” šŸ™‚


  4. Good night nurse! My kids are with their grandparents All. Summer. Long. I think I am in some deep trouble come August. I wonder if I could just send their school records on up and just visit them from here on out… Naaaah. That would take all the fun out of telling them no and earning the title “Meanest Mom Ever”. I love when I get recognized for my talents.


  5. Ha ha, we have similar problems. Except that we and the grandparents all live in the same town, so we have to do the detox, like, every week. But it is a blessing to have them, no doubt about it!


  6. Hubby and I will have the granddaughter next week for 3 whole days! I will keep this post in mind and try not to stimulate her too much! Yes it does sound like you will be having a long week!


  7. I’ve heard about these things…luckily, my mom is a rare gem when it comes to all this kind of stuff.
    Love your blog…I’m new to all this and you are definately in my favorites list! I’m an antique mommy of sorts, too…43 with two girls, 7 and 4…so right behind ya’! šŸ˜‰


  8. Wow Antiquemama, I just realized that we are the same age,and my baby turns 16 in 2 minutes. God Bless you with your little one, I admire you. You both are indeed lucky to have those wonderful Grandmas for your little guy, and I know you know that. Good luck with the withdrawls lol…
    Be Blessed


  9. Good Gravy! Coke in a sippy cup? I hope my mom is not reading this and getting ideas! She’s already unbelievably creative.

    For all the grousing about “grandparent detox” that I have done, Sean adores all of his grandparents and as one who never really had grandparents, I am so grateful that he has them. It is a tremendous joy and blessing for him and for me.


  10. Hey…at least your children have Granparents that love them and want to spend time with them. That counts for some really important brownie points.


  11. Wow! I’m a brand new grandmother and this post makes me realize I need to be very careful that my daughter doesn’t have to repair any damage I’ve done! Sorry, but it IS kind of funny. I think. Maybe. NO?


  12. We call it grandparent detox around here. My personal favorite? Coke in a sippy cup. For BREAKFAST. To accompany the doughnuts and pancakes.


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