Fashion Gifts I Don’t Want For Christmas

Skinny Jeans. In my ill-informed fashion opinion, skinny jeans are for skinny people — tall, long-legged, skinny people. I’ve never been tall or long-legged and I’m no longer skinny. I’m guessing there are probably only two other people besides Heidi Klum who should be wearing skinny jeans. Oprah and I are not those two people.

Leggings. See above. I bought leggings the first time around and I’m not falling for that again.

A shrug
.  For one thing, it’s a sweater, and it’s not even a whole sweater.  It’s like 1/3 of a sweater.  It’s like the thong of the sweater world — another prank played upon women by the fashion industry.

Any sweater or sweatshirt that has little bells sewn to the front.

Anything from Victoria’s Secret.  I do not want to open a pair of cashmere undies in front of my father-in-law and then have to exclaim, “Oh! It’s just what I wanted! It’s just my size!  I can’t wait to try these on!” And if I won’t dry clean a sweater, I certainly am not going to dry clean undies.

Fashion boots – is that what they are even called?  The kind that go up to your knee and have 3-inch heels?  You can have my share of fashion boots and I’ll admire yours.  I’m pretty sure just the fact that I’m using the term “fashion boots” means I shouldn’t be allowed to own a pair.  I’ll stick to my cowboy boots and hiking boots while I anxiously await the return of flip flop season.

Adult footsie pajamas.

Toe socks.

Uggs — aptly named because they are UGGly. I would never put those on my feet unless I was stranded in the Alaskan wilderness. And only then, not because they would keep me warm, but because they are so ugly even a hungry bear would turn away.

Diamond earrings – I would lose one before the end of the day and then I would have to feel badly about that and I’m opposed to feeling badly.

Make-up kits that have 25 different eye shadows.

Because I am a positive and upbeat person, I will leave you with one fashion item I would like for Christmas. I would like to have a new chenille bathrobe as my current one has bald patches and leaves a trail of pink fuzz everywhere I go.

* * *

So then tell me, what is one fashion item you would not like to get for Christmas (or the winter holiday of your choice) and one that you would.

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80 thoughts on “Fashion Gifts I Don’t Want For Christmas

  1. I have gotta stand up for my Crocs here. I have MS, I have problems walking and the Crocs are lifesavers for me, no matter how they look!

    I enjoyed reading everyones answers here! Fun!

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  2. DON’T get me anything with horizontal lines or with any noise-makers on. Also, any footwear with heels.

    DO get me warm, snuggly sweaters (turtle-neck or v-neck style) and equally warm, snuggly socks. Also, slippers are always a good bet.

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  3. Re: adult sized footie jammies. We were at a great second hand store and DH found a pair in my size. My mom and sister were there and they all made me get them. Well…we also happened to be celebrating our 10th anniversary that night. Sister washed them and I packed them along in my bag to take to our 10th anniversary/first time leaving all four kids with a sitter while we went to a bed and breakfast overnight alone date!

    And yes, I wore them….for a while…ahem.

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  4. I do NOT want angora or cashmere anything. They are soft. They are so beautiful. They are a nightmare. I bought a white angora sweater a couple years ago and paired it with a black skirt. I looked so chic! By the time I arrived at church, it looked like a wrestled a cat!!!! YUCK!

    I would like pants that perfectly fit my pear shaped body! I’d also like a trendy North Face jacket.

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  5. Those skinny jeans look just awful with relaxed-fit skin.

    I agree with Quirky about the botanical bathing treats from TJMaxx et al. However, if you don’t like that Cucumber-Mango shampoo, just pour it on your salad.

    Christmas blessings to all.

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  6. Thong of the sweater world?? Could you imagine what would happen in the sweater tomb?? You would need another tomb for all the fuzzlets. Stick with the Christmas sweater – it’s so much safer! 🙂

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  7. Love, love, love the Uggs!!! I would love to have a pair of the crocheted ones in every color available – but I have been known to be a bit quirky. They are super warm and I love to wear them with long skirts.

    No shrugs however – yuck!

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  8. Haha. I mostly agree with you. The only one of those I would wear would be skinny jeans I think… somehow they work for me. And I’m super short. Totally agree on the UGG boots, shrug, bells, Victoria’s Secret, makeup, etc.

    But the worst for me is Crocs. I think they are the bane of the fashion world. Plastic shoes with holes? I don’t get it. You can always tell if someone is from out of town in LA if they’re wearing Crocs.

    I guess what I would like the most would be cute flats. Or yarns so I could make scarves and hats for myself.

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  9. Forgot to add that I don’t want anything from my sister-in-law because all of her gifts come with “conditions” as to how I am to use it, or display it, or wear it, etc. etc………and she checks to make sure that I am using her gift to her specifications for years to come…….

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  10. I have to agree with you about the skinny jeans. I am tall and (used to be) skinny when those were popular back in the 80’s, and I could wear them then, but NOT anymore (although I still see people my age trying to wear them and wonder if they realize how ridiculous they look after their bodies have aged 20+ years..)
    Now I just want jeans that fit comfortably, not too tight, and are not low-cut or skinny. Relaxed fit that are long enough for my legs is all I need.

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  11. I’d like someone to gift me with some UGGs! I don’t think they are ugly at all! In fact, I like them and NEED a new pair. And you might rethink your stance on them if you lived where I live and you wanted to keep your feet warm when it’s single digits outside for weeks on end. They are comfortable, warm and easy on and off! Up with UGGs!!!

    I agree with the other stuff on your list, though.

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  12. I do not want anything from a garage sale where I have to smile and pretend three things:

    1. that I know what it is.

    2. that I have any sort of clue how to use it.

    3. that I have to lie about love, love, loving it.

    This totally stresses me out. And I have a certain garage sale family member that love, love, loves to stress me out.

    Smiles. Merry Christmas dear friend!

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  13. Footsie Jammies are a NO.
    How about a new body? I would definitely go for that…and then I would say yes to the skinny jeans. Well, maybe.

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  14. One thing I don’t want:
    I’d have to concur with “anything from Victoria’s Secret.” Those things are made for people who have never had children.

    One thing I do want:
    Pretty t-shirts. As in “girlyfied.” I want to look as feminine as possible, and still be nice and casual. 🙂

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  15. Crocs. I think they are about the ugliest things in the world no matter how comfortable and utilitarian they are.

    I am a lover of the fashion boots though, so a pair of those in m stocking would make me smile.

    LOVE the “thong of the sweater world”. You are hilarious.

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  16. That would be a no:

    If anyone ever bought me stretch pants, I’d have to hold them hostage for a gift card to Banana Republic.

    That would be a yes:

    Cruise to the Greek Isles.

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  17. I am hoping that this year I manage to dodge the Christmas bullet of yet another butt-ugly sweater from my sister-in-law. Every year she buys me a hideous polyester sweater with some kind of frumpy glittery decoration on it, suitable for somebody over 70 to wear to the Early Bird Special dinner at Red Lobster. Every year I take said frumpy ugly sweater and throw it on the Salvation Army pile before we even sit down for Christmas morning breakfast. Here’s hoping this year she has a flash of inspiration and picks something better!

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  18. I checked on your blog after some time and this list was just wonderful! I totally agree with you with everything in your “no-list”.

    I would say, no pants of any kind, I am definitely a skirt person. No jewwllery or cosmetics, either – last year’s gift from MIL still sits in a cupboard – she had left home her reading glasses and thought it was some fancy shampoo… It was hair gel for young men! 🙂

    A black or brown wool coat would be nice, but it seems that I’m not getting that…

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  19. I loved this list and agree with them all.I did love leggins in the early 90’s…but this time around…couldn’t do it…especially if paired with a bulky sweaters…I’d look like a Christmas bell.

    I guess my number one fashion don’t would be the those makeup cases with 30 eyeshadow colors, orangish blush, clumpy mascara, and chalky lipsticks.

    Fashion want? A toss up between a good pair of jeans that sit just below the waist and NOT on my hips) and a nice scarf.

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  20. Shower gels and lotions with scents that nature never intended to combine. You know the one. Passion-pear-cinnamon-blossom-mango-breeze. It’s waaaay too strong for me to ever consider bathing with. And it shows up from at least one person every year, because it’s the official gift for people who don’t know what to get you. It’s the fruitcake of the personal hygiene world.

    What I would like? A gift certificate for a pedicure. Simple and smell-free.

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  21. A couple of years ago I saw the perfect robe at Nordstroms: 100% Cotton Terrycloth, short, pockets, not too heavy..not too frumpy. It had coffee cups on it. It was cute, and I loved it. I did not get it because it was too expensive, and I thought it would be a splurge. I still look for it, wish I had bought it that day, and if the perfect robe shows up in my life again, I am getting it.

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  22. A sweatshirt (bag, throw, mugs,etc.) with my grandchildren’s faces on it. Grandmother jewelry. etc etc. And I DO adore my grandchildren, but I wince almost every time I see the phrase, “This would be GREAT for grandparents.” ARGH.

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  23. Yes, but isn’t that robe the one that [almost] intimidated a opposum? 😉 I remember that. 🙂

    I don’t want a pair of booties. The short boots. Those aren’t cute on anybody. Especially when paired with a short dress. That’s just nasty.

    However, I would love a nice, classic, knee-length, woolish black coat. I’m in need of one of those. And a pair of flat, gray, knee high boots. …been on the look-out for those for a while now. To find that at a great price would be delicious! Oh, and I want a shiny red skinny belt. 🙂

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  24. I pretty much agree with everything you listed.
    EXCEPT…do wish i was tall and skinny so I COULD wear Uggs with skinny jeans. I think it’s a cute look on the right people.Problem is everyone else tries to pull it off and that’s not so good.
    I also do not want sweatshirts of any kind or cheap perfumes.
    I DO want a new soft robe though.

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  25. What I do not want: another sweater from my mother-in-law like the other TEN she’s given me in the previous ten years. They head to the resale shop with the tags still on them because she lives in MN and shops in places I have never heard of.

    Oh, but WAIT! Last night at the hubby’s family Christmas, I DID get another sweater from my m-i-l. Grrr.

    What I do want: a new car to replace the one that’s been in the shop once a month last year. Or a diamond tennis bracelet. But since there is no bonus or no raise this year, let’s be realistic here. What I really want is a panini press, but my darling husband refuses to buy me anything with a plug. Some marriage book along the way probably said, “Men, don’t buy your wife any gift with a plug,” and he believed it. So the panini press is probably out.

    And now that I have myself all worked up here, I’m thinking the massage would sure be nice. It’ll be interesting to see what actually happens.

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  26. Not only do I not want the “thong of the sweater world” I don’t want a thong. Never.

    I do like socks (not toe socks), just nice warm, cute socks, without holes. They always make me happy.

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  27. I would love to receive a sophisticated well-cut wool coat. Preferably one that covers my bottom. Please do not give me a baby doll sweater with ruffles. The less extra fabric across my ever lowering bosom the better.

    My daughters wear skinny jeans and look good in them. How you can wear a size zero and polish off a box a cheeze-its, I’ll never know. I just drank a cup of black coffee and I can feel the pounds settling in around my waist.

    When I was their age we wore long bell-bottomed jeans, the more ragged the better, and our father’s cast off flannel shirts. And earth shoes. We thought we were so cool. Dumpy is the first word that comes to mind.

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  28. Fuzzy house slippers.

    My father always gave a pair to my mom at Christmas. Every Christmas. She hated fuzzy house slippers. He thought this was hysterical.

    She divorced him.

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  29. Ditto on the Uggs. I live in Houston for petes sake…why pay that kind of money for something that from practicality standpoint is climate appropriate maybe 2 or 3 days out of the year.

    I think who ever is trying to bring leg warmers back needs to be taken out back and beaten over the head with a VHS tape of Flashdance. Sorry, make that a Betamax tape.

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  30. Gawd. Fashion. Gave up on THAT decades ago. Unless I can get a new fashion BODY, think Santa’d bring me one of those?

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  31. I wouldn’t have those half jackets that cover nothing – either on body or the arms. I think it’s a perfectly good waste of money and fabric.

    I would, on the other hand, take the diamond earrings. Yeah, I’ll loose one, but I would feel mighty fine until then. 🙂

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  32. Oh, dear. Reading about your pink chenille bathrobe reminded me of this eggplant chenille sweater I had in high school that I liked to wear with this certain sleeveless dress…but the lush, cozy (a.k.a. thick and non-breathable) sweater left me with fuzzy, purple armpits every time I wore it. Just what every 16-year-old wants.

    Anyway, back to your questions. I would like some new slippers (the prettiest ones always come out around Christmas, with the satin ribbons and all). And sadly, I don’t even know what styles are currently “in,” so I don’t know which I would not want to receive!

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  33. I am SO with you on the skinny jeans. I have never tried them on, but I know they’re not for me. Also holiday themed sweaters. I feel like they should have a mandatory age limit of 70+.

    I WOULD like a cashmere sweater, or an argyle sweater. Actually, and argyle cardigan would be great.

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  34. Ok, I will play. Gift I don’t want – a Webkinz. My two daughters are wanting me to have one – the one that is their favorite, and the one that I have to take them to buy, and then duck out the store while they pay.

    Then I open it up and have to be surprised.

    What I won’t be surprised with is the fact that the two of them will fight over the toy on Christmas morning – on who is going to play with it first.

    Personally, I want something that I DON”T HAVE TO SHARE. Preferably one that I need a babysitter to partake in. Like the spa.

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  35. LOL, I enjoyed reading your not wish list… it was a good laugh 🙂

    We don’t do presents usually, but I would like some perfume.

    * * * *

    Make sure you specify what kind of perfume you want or you could end up with Jovan Musk or Jean Nate. I learned this the hard way and ended up with a gallon of White Shoulders. ~ AM

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  36. Laughing out loud at your list! If I start noting my favorite bits, I’ll end up repeating the whole post!

    Gifts I don’t want: junk food and any of its cousins.

    Gifts I like: clothes made from recycled plastic bottles and hemp (much greener than cotton); handmade earrings that directly benefit impoverished women; donations in my name to good causes.

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  37. I do not want any stocking hats, fuzzy bucket hats…..any type of hat. I look horrible in a hat, I refuse to wear a hat.
    I am an earmuffs kind of gal.

    I did like a hooded scarf thingy I had many years ago-but they are hard to come by.

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  38. Socks. I intensely dislike socks. Slippers are ok b/c I can discreetly slip my feet out of them. But oh my socks! I would love to get the gift of a day of relaxation. A massage. Or pedicure. Something decident but legal!

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  39. I do not want any home decor items, including picture frames,dishes or drinking glasses. If I dont’ like it I’m stuck with the dilemma of setting it out when the giver shows up. I like to decorate my own house.

    I do want some new pj’s – no footie pj’s. I LOVE to put on new pj’s on a cold winter night.

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  40. **Happy Geek** Seriously?!?! You have that shirt? That’s awesome! When I unpacked from coming back from their house last year, it went straight in the the Goodwill bag.

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  41. Uggs may be UGGly, but I live in Minnesota, and they look WARM. So I’m not sure how much I care about the ugly factor. I’d take ’em.

    I do not want sweaters that don’t fit (either too big or too small) and funny socks.

    I admit to being very, very particular about fashion items (not brands, just shaping, color, fabric, etc), and therefore would just like the Twilight cd or Philosophy body wash. Or gift cards. I love them. The gift of shopping brings a tear to my eye. And all you people who sneer at the gift card may send yours to me! : )

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  42. I really don’t know what I want. I used to say a Kitchen Aid is a waste of money, but I’m beginning to rethink my stance. But, I’ve only said that one time, so I know it’s not on the radar.
    I would like to have a 5 1/2 or 7 qt. stock pot. A nice one!! Like from W-S, maybe?

    I don’t know what I don’t want. I don’t like Uggs either. Uggly!

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  43. No shirts that say stuff on it. My mother in law last year bought me a t-shirt that had a glitter rose with “special lady” written above it.

    I don’t think I have any fashion items that I want this year.

    * * *

    Yes, a shirt with a glitter rose that says “special lady” is just wrong. It should read “foxy lady”. ;0

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  44. I don’t want anything that has to be dry cleaned. It’s lucky to get washed in my house. Dry cleaning is just not happening.

    I wouldn’t mind a new robe and slippers. The only robe I have is not only old but too bulky. And I have no slippers. : ( I hope someone has pity on me.

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  45. My MIL buys me(not my hubs – the only male in my household) Christmas boxers every year for Christmas. Ummm….seriously?
    What I WOULD love is new houseshoes this year. Practical, but desired.

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  46. Hah – this is fun! Great lists. Here’s my “Wish Not” list:
    1. Uggs (i’m with you on that one)
    2. winter scarf (I have plenty)
    3. candles (I have plenty)
    4. kitchen towels (boring!!!)
    5. candy (I definitely don’t need this!)

    OK i feel better after getting that off my chest! 🙂 Thanks. And Merry Christmas to all!

    Beth B. (mommy to a busy 5-yr old)

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  47. I do NOT want any kitchen items unless I ask for them, and do NOT want hubby to pick out any more candle holders or oil burners or lamps or anything off of QVC. I haven’t yet figured out how to get rid of all the others he’s given me.

    I DO want anything off the list he asked me to give him.

    Please, Honey, don’t get creative.

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  48. I don’t want work out clothes. It’s not that I loathe them per se–more what they represent. However, I’ll be getting over myself, soon. I just find buying sports bras and work out gear and shoes expensive and about as fun as buying tampons.

    Here’s a fashion question: What to buy for a 10 ager who doesn’t have her curves yet, but has more padding all over than she’d like because she’s waiting for the spurt of life to occur. I swear(rant coming), I cannot find anything that doesn’t scream too tight hootchy or too old frumpy. She doesn’t need help with lack self consciousness–there’s enough of that in our culture already.

    Merry Christmas. ;0) rant ovah.

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  49. Your right on about the make up and stuff. It always comes from people who want to un frump you. It seems like they are saying” we don’t like you the way you are” let me fix you the way you should be.I have a sister like that. Drives me crazy…..I’m with you i need a new robe…Warm one.

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  50. I want Cuddl Duds for Christmas. The ultimate in long underwear to keep me warm in the ice storm we had last weekend and snow we’re getting now.

    I want nothing with ruffles!

    Never heard of a shrug before!

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  51. Don’t want: Make-up. Jewelry. I am a happy frump and don’t want the stuff. I’ll still receive cart-loads of it from well-meaning in-laws desperate to un-frump me. Doesn’t mean I’ll wear it.

    Want -Fashion boots. It’s -754 right now and our flip flop season lasts approx 17 minutes. I could use with a pair of low-heeled boots to keep me warm. Not that my hand-me-down hiking boots aren’t stylin, but even a frump could use a change once in a while.
    I totally snorted over the thong of the sweater world. I’ll never look at a shrug the same again.

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  52. “the thong of the sweater world” – you’re brilliant!

    Those all-in-one fleecy sleepsuits for babies. You can get them at Target for adults. No thank you. (Are these the adult footsie pajamas you talk of?)

    Yes please to anything nice that I wouldn’t ever buy for myself.

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  53. I got a pair of diamond earrings for my 25th anniversary, they have screw-backs on them. I’ve had them in for two years and I love them.

    I can’t keep up with anything else and I’ve managed to hang on to them!

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  54. I agree most heartily with your list. Keeping up with fashion are days long gone by. I just want to be warm and comfortable.
    No heels of any kind, please…
    No dresses or skirts..nary a one in my closet.
    I would be de-lighted with several pairs of new warm, cozy sweat pants.

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  55. Okay, I was never a fan of UGGs, HOWEVER, I recently found a pair of cute little UGG so-called boots. They’re more like ankle-high, leather shoes, and they are the cutest things ever! But they’re ridiculously priced at $150 and they would not do much to keep my feet warm. Check them out here. While you’re at the site, you may be surprised to find that there are some very cute UGGs; they’re not all those big, fluffy things.

    What I want? I could use a good robe, too. Mine is over 15 years old and is nothing more than threads in a number of areas. Yes, it’s pink. 😀

    * * * *

    I will admit that some of those low-top late model Uggs that I saw on Zappos are indeed cute. But the wooly mammoth style Uggs? Uggly. Life is too short for ugly shoes. ~ AM

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  56. You and I are sisters separated at birth. I agree with everything, even the robe! I’m sitting here in my old raggy one and looking on line to buy a new one. Ok, mine isn’t pink, it’s black but close enough.

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  57. Well. I kinda like those eye shadows kits with tons of colors. I like to play around with them. I have probably 15 different individual eye shadows in my make-up kit, so I wouldn’t mind something that had them all together!

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  58. I’ve got two that I don’t want.

    Cropped tops: those are made for skinny 16-years olds on vacation. I am none of those.

    Short skirts: See above. Old ladies like me need skirts down to our knees. My calves get lonely.

    What I need:

    New slippers. The ones I have are leaving bits of themselves around the house as I walk around.

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  59. Fashion boots are actually kind of nice here when you don’t want to wear snow boots with your dress and wearing pumps would make your feet fall off. So I have several pairs, but only because they’re practical for me.

    YES! Those big makeup kits are awful. There are only three or four colours I wear, thank you.

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  60. I do NOT want form-fitting t-shirts. Post baby, my stomach is not a part of me I want to highlight. T-shirts should be comfortable, not self-conscious. I DO want some shirts that are nicer than t-shirts, as my closet seems to contain dresses, t-shirt and sweats, with no in-between clothes.

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  61. A “sleep shirt”–those oversized t-shirts meant for sleeping. You just end up with a lot of shirt bunched uncomfortably under your armpits and freezing legs.

    Legwarmers-for more on why I would actually want to wear these ugly leftovers from the 80’s, see my blog:)

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  62. I agree with all of your DON’Ts! Skinny jeans would only make me feel even worse about the weight I’ve gained and not lost. And thank you for saying “out loud” that Uggs are not attractive footwear! I’ve never understood the appeal.

    I wouldn’t mind a pair of lined Isotoner gloves. They fit snugly and keep my hands toasty warm!

    Merry Christmas!

    Like

  63. I totally agree on the skinny jeans and Uggs. I just cannot pull off either of those looks. I will have to say I love my boots though. They make me feel hot. But to each her own.

    I was once given a watch by my MIL with a stiff denim band. It is ugly. I wore it a couple of times around her, but will not wear it any more.

    I would love a new wool coat. A grownup coat. Not the too-big wool blend coat from Old Navy that I currently own.

    Like

  64. Heels. I’m opposed to breaking bones, and at my age that’s what would happen if I wore heels. Also anxiously awaiting flip flop season here.

    Like

  65. I want a red coat for Christmas. I feel it’s time to update from my 1994 Eddie Bauer Women’s Parka in forest green.

    I don’t want any more of those stay at home fuzzy socks. Because I can’t keep a pair together and sometimes I sneak to work in them when I wear my Lands End mules.

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  66. Leggins, shrugs, and toe socks. Did leggins and toe socks the first time around. Give me fuzzy/cozy socks.

    Kills me how when they go around again a lot of things have to be renamed. I mean petal pushers are cacapri (did I get close enough in spelling). They really petal pushers. Wore them when I was a kid. Kept the part of the Jeans that were missing our of the bycicle chain! I was between 2 brothers older/younger and they would say “get yourself out you got in there!” and ride away. They had to eventually come back and get me out cause mom would kill them! Capri(s) are comfortable though.

    Like

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